It has been 3 months since I officially quit work became a stay at home mum and I finally feel like I am getting into the swing of things. It probably shouldn’t have taken me this long but it has been a battle against errands and pre-school routines around tantrums and playtime.
I love a bit of ‘me time’ but I have felt like it is impossible to get some, mostly because it is. Even when Hubby does take the girls out for an hour it can take me the whole hour before I feel like I am actually relaxed. Then they are back and wanting me for everything. Little Ladies, Daddy can provide you with a drink too! Over time I have learnt to take the little moments and savour them, I no longer need to sit down in total peace to feel like I have had some time to myself. Every weekend I bake. I have always loved baking and over time I plan to take it to the next level but for now it is a hobby I take very seriously. I suspect it would piss Hubby off if it weren’t for the fact he gets to eat the end result. Mostly he will try to keep the girls out of my way whilst I play in the kitchen and, despite the inevitable toddler interruptions, I get some ‘me time’. Had you asked me for my definition of ‘me time’ a couple of years ago it absolutely would not have been standing in a kitchen. But parenting changes you! If I’m honest this small amount of time where I can use my brain power to think of things other than nappy changes and colouring books has made it easier to think about the nappy changes and colouring books.
It has taken numerous three year old tantrums, a change in the bedtime routine and a few (ok a lot) of mummy tears but I think we have finally found our own harmony. Pinky can get very tired, what toddler can’t, this often result in more tantrums, more moaning and generally a less happy mummy and little sister. Its not fair to blame this all on her, if one of us ladies is in a bad mood then we all are, and if it happening now when they are only 3 and 1 if feel really sorry for Hubby when the teenage years arrive. His golf swing is going to be of professional standard. Pinky is very good at bedtime and now that we keep her up a little later she generally goes straight to sleep. The more time she feels she has spent learning in a day and the more cuddles she has had the happier she is. She is a simple affectionate soul. I think I forgot for a while how much of a mummy girl she is. Recently she has really enjoyed spending time with Daddy and she often says she misses him whilst he is at work, but in reality it is me than can have direct effect on the number of tantrums she has. It isn’t exactly a hardship giving my daughter lots of cuddles and singing the ABC song with her and if it has the added bonus of giving me an easy life then that can only be a good thing.
Perky is a different beast altogether. She is a real Jekyll and Hyde. I haven’t worked out how to keep her happy a majority of the time, but bless her she is teething. Some days she is the cuddliest child on the planet. She has always been able to give the best cuddles. Even from a very young age she is happy just laid on a lap, thumb in mouth, muzzie in hand watching her world go by. She particularly enjoys doing this with her Uncle who is more than happy to oblige, it gets him out of helping with the Sunday lunch…. Don’t worry Mick Mick, we know your game. Other days… Well! She can be horrific. She will fight with Pinky, she will tantrum and plank over everything and anything. This will start from the moment I get her up. If I don’t give her the beaker quick enough, or if I wipe her face after breakfast, that little chubby body will go rigid and expel squeals that rival the screams of a banshee. Quite frankly she can be damn exhausting.
I am getting used to juggling the emotions and demands of the girls. I am finding my own rhythm. On the worst days, the days when I really want to sit in a dark room and cry into my luke warm coffee, I give them both an apple, sit them in front of a Disney film and get out my recipe books for some weekend inspiration and 5 minutes of mental rejuvenation ready for the rest of the day.
Onwards and Upwards.