I’m Sorry I Forgot About You

I regularly find myself looking through old family photos; photos of Ellie as a baby and pre Trixie’s arrival; photos of Trixie as a baby. The photos of Trixie as a baby I have obviously seen before but this week I realised I have never seen them before. I have hardly any photos of just Trixie. Most of the photos I have of the girls are of both of them. This isn’t because I have an unhealthy obsession with my eldest, or because I don’t want her to feel left out of anything. It is because these two daughters of mine are close. Closer than close actually, they are best friends not just sisters.

I am sorry I forgot the effect starting school was going to have on the siblings left behind. As the 'back to school' season approaches it is important to remember the siblings that aren't starting school may feel left out and alone without someone to play with.

The Perfect Age Gap

I’m sorry if this sounds like a brag. It isn’t. I know many Mum’s who struggle to help their kids find a sibling balance. I know not all siblings get on this well and I know many people hope to find that ‘perfect age gap’ to help form a bond like my two kids have (they are 23 months apart if you are wondering). I guess I accidentally stumbled on our ‘perfect’. Perhaps it is the age gap? Perhaps Ellie was at the perfect development stage to have a sibling enter our family? Or perhaps they would have always been this close no matter when Trixie was born? I will never know, I just get to enjoy the laughter. I get to enjoy walking into a room to see them snuggled up to each other and I get to enjoy watching them go to each other for comfort from their pain. I hear ‘I love you Trixie’ and ‘I love you too, Ehyiee’ and it absolutely makes my heart melt.

I am sorry I forgot the effect starting school was going to have on the siblings left behind. As the 'back to school' season approaches it is important to remember the siblings that aren't starting school may feel left out and alone without someone to play with.

Mum Guilt

When I was pregnant with Trixie I suffered with the most horrific mum guilt. I worried that Ellie would struggle not having me to herself anymore, or that I had made a selfish decision wanting another baby. Honestly some of the things I thought about don’t bare putting into words. Of course now I know it has been the best decision I ever made but hindsight is a fine thing.

I am sorry I forgot the effect starting school was going to have on the siblings left behind. As the 'back to school' season approaches it is important to remember the siblings that aren't starting school may feel left out and alone without someone to play with.

A New Chapter

Now Ellie is starting school this September and we are all faced with a new chapter. But as I write ‘we are all’ I know it is true, so why did I only realise that this morning? I have been so focused on how school is going to effect Ellie; worrying about if she will settle in ok (of course she will), how quickly she is going to develop into a proper little lady and how that will change her. I have been focused on how I will feel having my first child go to school, how sad it makes me to think of her growing up and how much I miss those little toddler days. I think about how emotional I was when she first tried on her school uniform.

But what about Trixie? I forgot about Trixie.

I am sorry I forgot the effect starting school was going to have on the siblings left behind. As the 'back to school' season approaches it is important to remember the siblings that aren't starting school may feel left out and alone without someone to play with.

I Am Sorry I Forgot About You!

To Trixie,

I am sorry I forgot about you Trixie baby. I am sorry that I forgot how much you are going to miss Ellie when she is at school. You will be loosing your best friend, your playmate and your sister in September and I didn’t even spare you a second thought.

You are so tough and feisty, you are strong minded and strong willed. I have never known a toddler so determined and with an incredible ability to solve problems. You can be shy but also so confident. However, I forget how much you channel strength from your sister. You follow Ellie’s lead and she has guided you through your first two and half years like the best big sister she is. But now you need to learn to come to me. Monday to Friday you will need to learn from me, you won’t be able to ask Ellie for guidance.

I am sorry I forgot the effect starting school was going to have on the siblings left behind. As the 'back to school' season approaches it is important to remember the siblings that aren't starting school may feel left out and alone without someone to play with.

I am sorry you don’t start preschool for another year, you won’t even have that distraction. It is just you and me kiddo and I am sorry I didn’t realise sooner how sad you are going to be without Ellie. You were always the one to cry when we dropped Ellie off at preschool. Ellie would bounce in with a huge smile and you would cry to go and get her back. One day you cried the whole 5 hours she was there! Quietly sobbing into your beaker and muzzie until we went and got her. I have always stupidly and naively labelled this behaviour as cute. But it is not cute, these are genuinely strong feelings that I have neglected to account for.

I am sorry and I promise over the next coming months I will do my best to make the transition easy for you as well as her. I am sorry I forgot about you before, it won’t happen again.

I am sorry I forgot the effect starting school was going to have on the siblings left behind. As the 'back to school' season approaches it is important to remember the siblings that aren't starting school may feel left out and alone without someone to play with.

Follow:
Share:

45 Comments

  1. Momoftwolittlegirls
    August 15, 2017 / 10:30 am

    My girls are 23 months apart too. I also find it hard to keep a balance. The eldest will always have the firsts first. The second (and last) will always have the lasts. It’s not easy.

    • Winnettes
      August 15, 2017 / 11:32 am

      This is the same as me, second is the last. It is so hard to find a balance. I feel bad as she often gets overlooked x

  2. August 17, 2017 / 2:07 am

    your girls are beautiful! I think it is a great age gap! I am sad my son will be much older than his siblings than my siblings are from each-other. It is just how life is happening. Love your post!

    • Winnettes
      August 18, 2017 / 1:12 pm

      Thank you. I don’t think the age gap really matters. So many people focus on it but I think there is much more to the sibling relationship than age. Life is what it is, isn’t it x

  3. The Mummy Bubble
    August 18, 2017 / 6:18 am

    There is a 21 month gap between mine and I love how well they get on already (most of the time!). But I do feel guilty that my little one gets less of me than my eldest did at the same age. Great post xx #blogcrush

    • Winnettes
      August 18, 2017 / 1:12 pm

      I know, I give Ellie so much more of me. Finding the balance is so hard. X

  4. August 24, 2017 / 4:36 pm

    Aww this post has got me all teary eyed. There are 3 years between my 2 and I think my baby is small enough to not really notice any difference when his big brother starts school next month. It is so easy though to just worry about what’s going on on the eldest child’s life and you can sometime over look the younger one. Finding a balance is hard xx #blogcrush

    • August 30, 2017 / 4:09 pm

      Back from #fortheloveofblog – thanks for hosting xx

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:53 am

      It is hard isn’t it. The second child can always seem so ok they just get a little over looked. I guess the bonus is she is about to get two years of a lot of mummy attention x

  5. August 30, 2017 / 6:49 am

    There is a 3 year age gap between my two girl. My eldest started playschool when she was 3 and my youngest was just a month old back then, so the separation anxiety was still non existent at that time. However the guilt ate at me as my eldest would cry every day for the first week.
    I felt so guilty as for sending her to playschool to focus on baby as I just couldn’t handle both at home with me. After a week, she started loving playschool and learnt so much. Now my two girls have a strong bond and communicate well with each other which is very important. Whenever the one goes off to a friend’s party, I can see the other one is a bit lost. Hang in there, it will get better and I know it’s not easy but don’t feel guilty. Kids adapt quicker than adults. #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:40 am

      Oh bless you! I sent Ellie even after Trix was born and I was at home. I needed a break from having two of them every week. I’m sure she will adapt soon enough X

  6. August 30, 2017 / 6:54 am

    Oops – apologies there was a connection problem and my comments posted 3 times.#fortheloveofBLOG

  7. August 30, 2017 / 7:30 am

    Lovely post. My daughter is 3 now so if we have another baby there will be a big age difference. That makes me a bit sad because there is only 19 months between me and my sister and we’ve always had a close relationship. It would have been nice for that to be the same with my children but it hasn’t worked out that way. Luckily, there is only 10 months between my daughter and niece and they are exceptionally close. #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:42 am

      I honestly don’t think it will matter in the long run. Like you say things work out how they do but my age gap comment is very tongue in cheek. I think as adults we have this idea in our head about what is ideal and what is perfect but kids don’t care. They know no different and they just get on with life X

  8. August 30, 2017 / 8:49 am

    This is beautiful and brought a tear to my eye. There is only a couple of years between my girls and when my eldest started school it was hard. The dynamic changed. Yet it done wonders for me and my youngest Harri, she needed some Mummy time. Good luck to your lovely girls. #fortheloveofblog

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:43 am

      I’m hoping that will be the case for me and Trixie. We have a lovely relationship anyway but she does go to her sister for so much. I’m also hoping that it will take off any pressure Ellie may feel in the future by being so relied upon by her little sister x

  9. August 30, 2017 / 12:48 pm

    We have a 27 month age gap and they are also best friends. Like you describe you walk into the room and they’ll be playing, kissing or cuddling each other. Just think how excited Trixie will be to see her big sister after school every day. #fortheloveofBlog

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:44 am

      IT’s so cute when they are like that. I think Trix will skip all the way to school to get her 😉

  10. August 30, 2017 / 1:15 pm

    Lovely post, I really enjoyed reading this. Cherish the last moments with Trixie at home and make the most of it.

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:44 am

      Thank you, I certainly will x

  11. August 30, 2017 / 2:23 pm

    This has got me right in the feels! You can tell there is genuine remorse in your words and I’m sure when she is older she won’t hold a grudge. Im sure she’ll adjust well to her transition and then she’ll be so used to one on one time that you’ll have a hard time sharing yourself with them both hahah! #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:45 am

      Hehe, sorry about that 😉 I’m sure she will be fine after a little adjustment. I’ll just have to make myself more fun that her sister.

  12. August 30, 2017 / 3:54 pm

    That is so sweet. It is going to be a massive change for both of them. Big adjustments to be made by everyone but I’m sure you’ll find your way. And you only forgot for a tiny little while, it hardly even counts. Lots of hugs all round. #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:45 am

      This is what I’m hoping. Such a small snippet of time x

  13. August 30, 2017 / 5:30 pm

    There is 7 years between my two, but Booey still missed Ben Bob everyday when he was at school. They were still close even though there is quite a gap between them. Now they just seem to fight all the time lol.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:46 am

      Haha! We have had a really good 6 weeks off but I actually said to my friend the other day I bet they will be too used to time apart come next year. I’m already waiting for the sister fights 😉

  14. August 30, 2017 / 6:31 pm

    We have an 18 month gap x it was hard at the start and they squabble but they love each other so much. They play a lot now too and it is so sweet. Lovely letter x #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:47 am

      Sounds the same as my two. They certainly still have issues now and again. They are sisters after all and one will deliberately wind up the other!

  15. August 30, 2017 / 8:20 pm

    Hi, what a wonderful post, your girls are clearly very close. I’m sure the transition to school will be fine and you will all easily adapt to your next chapter #fortheloveofBlog

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:48 am

      They are super close. It is very sweet but I do hope it doesn’t make the next month harder than it needs to be x

  16. August 30, 2017 / 10:17 pm

    Your girls are so cute together, I think it’s a great age gap. If we were ever to have another, the gap would be pretty big as our little girl is now 3. I’m sure after a few weeks things will settle and you will all get used to the new routine. #fortheloveofBlog

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:48 am

      I hope so, my two respond really well to routine so I will be instigating one very quickly 😉

  17. August 31, 2017 / 6:12 am

    This brought a tear to my eye. They obviously have an amazing relationship. I hope everything goes well next week x
    #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:49 am

      They really do. Thank you, keep everything crossed for me 😉

  18. August 31, 2017 / 9:22 am

    Doesn’t matter what the age gap is – the balance is always hard…#FortheloveofBLOG

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:49 am

      Yeah it is always hard to find the equilibrium, I promise that was a tongue in cheek comment x

  19. August 31, 2017 / 8:43 pm

    This is a lovely post and you must be so happy that your daughters have such a close bond. Toddlers are so adaptable and while I’m sure Trixie will be sad that her sister won’t be with her all day every day when she starts school, I’m sure she’ll be just fine. #fortheloveofblog

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:50 am

      They do have a lovely bond. I’m sure she will be fine, time will tell x

  20. August 31, 2017 / 8:54 pm

    What a lovely thought heart wrenching post. My brother and I were best friends, only 13 months apart. The year I went to preschool and left him behind, he was heartbroken. He didn’t speak a word to anyone the entire time I was gone. Not a single syllable for the first week, he just sat at the living room window and watched. My mother was beside herself. He finally adjusted but only after I made him promise me to eat his lunch and then I would be back. Poor kid wouldn’t even eat that first week! I would come home and he would eat a ton of dinner to make up the meals he missed. I hope Trixie does okay this year, my brother certainly did better when we were both going to school together. #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Winnettes
      September 1, 2017 / 8:51 am

      Oh Heather that is the cutest and saddest story I have heard in a long time! How cute was your little brother?!

  21. September 1, 2017 / 11:05 am

    I love your photos, your girls are just the cutest. It’s such a big change school starting for one sibling and not the other. I hope it al goes well for you all. Plan some special days out with Trixie if you can for when Ellie is at school x
    #FortheloveofBlog

  22. September 1, 2017 / 12:44 pm

    This is such a lovely post and it is so lovely to hear how good a relationship your two girls have. It will be a new chapter but hopefully your little one with settle in with before no time and enjoy some solo mummy time. Such gorgoues girls! #fortheloveofBLOG

  23. September 2, 2017 / 10:13 am

    I have terrible mum guilt as i can’t remember any of my middle child’s milestones 🙁 time just races by and we are so busy. I make sure I take loads of photos of all 3 kids but the little day to day things need to be treasured #fortheloveofblog

  24. September 5, 2017 / 11:35 am

    Aww such a beautiful post. I can’t imagine having a 23m gap as Georgia is now nearly 2.5 years old with no signs of a younger sibling! It’s a decision I struggle with though to know ‘the perfect gap’. I think you’re right. Sometimes it’s just down to who they are and sometimes it doesn’t matter how many months or years there are between them. A great post, thanks for being a fab co-host.

  25. September 5, 2017 / 9:02 pm

    Lovely post. Such a strong bond they have I’m sure it will be strange at first as you both get used to being without her #fortheloveofBLOG

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *