It’s just one of those days. One of those ‘pull your hair out’ kinda days. Nothing really extreme is happening, no major unexpected tantrums (just the usual), I have a slight headache but its easing, Perky has a cold, lots of snot but I think we’re coming to the end of it. But I just can’t get into a rhythm. Things are frustrating me for no reason. It’s just one of those days.
I find these days the hardest. The sun is shining but it just doesn’t help. I have no real reason for being irritable so my mum guilt goes into overdrive (that helps no end). Don’t get me wrong I am truly thankful for everything I have, a supportive husband, too beautiful daughters who are growing into a pair of lovely little ladies. But if I have to listen to Pinky shout ‘Mummy’ in her whining tone one more time I think I will lock myself in a cupboard somewhere. Just speak to me nicely!
Hubby pointed out to me the other day that she was brilliant with him until I walked into the room. It was a brave comment on his part that was not met kindly by me! I am well aware that children play up for their mothers, or main care giver. Mine are no different. However I think Hubby sometimes thinks that Pinky exacerbates it because he is providing her with an audience.
She is just that shitty with me normally.
Sometimes it doesn’t bother me. Pinky is simply a mini me. We are so alike. Its like a daily dose of self reflection that I didn’t ask for. Sometimes I can use this alikeness to my advantage and other times we just clash. Badly! I picked her up from preschool the other day and her key worker was amazed at how well she could draw people for her age. I looked shocked and said I didn’t think she could draw anything other than squiggles. But sure enough she made some very distinctive stickmen. I felt really guilty that this ability had gone totally unnoticed by me, her mother! We just cant draw together, to date it has always ended in tears…. usually mine. I guess it all swings and roundabouts because we can do puzzles together all day long without it resulting in us getting frustrated with each other. I may be so bored I could pull my own eyes out but there isn’t a tantrum or tear in sight.
I do hope that Perky is a little different, if there are three women in this household with personalities that are too similar its going to be a long few years ahead.
Fortunately this evening I have a ‘mummy date’ meeting a friend for a child free catch up, so I can go out and refresh before starting all over again tomorrow morning.