*This is a contributed post.
Worrying that your relationship breakdown is hurting the kids is horrible. No matter how discreet you and your partner were, you still feel guilty that your kids aren’t growing up in a traditional family unit. But why should you feel guilty? You and your ex are fantastic parents, and you’re both entitled to feel happy beyond your parenting roles. Still, if something is nagging at you about the kids’ feelings, why not have a chat with them?
‘I Want Daddy Home’
Little ones and teens alike wish things would stay the same forever. So did you. But now you’re all entering a fresh new phase. You might say things like ‘Daddy is still there, but now you get to see him in his new house. That means that Daddy gets to give you all his attention. And Mummy gets to give you all her attention.’ There are lots of different approaches to answering this one. When your kids see how happy everyone is with the new living arrangements, they’ll soon settle into the routine.
Getting Used To Doing It All
One of the biggest challenges for newly single parents is filling in for all the chores and tasks that your partner used to do. It can effectively double your workload at home! Feel free to spend more time with your feet up in the evenings. You’ve earned it. Of course, when the kids stay with your ex, you’ll start to wonder what to do with yourself. Lots of time to think and dwell and worry and wonder can be bad for you though.
Finalising The Details
No matter how good the terms of separation, you need to finalise the arrangements of your marriage at some point. Don’t try to take all this on yourself. It’s hard work, emotionally awful, and just plain complicated. Using a law firm like Austin Kemp Family Law Solicitors that specialises in more complex cases can help you to take the load off. Getting distance from it all can help you move on. After all, wasn’t that the point?
Meeting Someone New
It will still hurt and feel extremely weird when your ex meets someone new. You’ve every right to feel that. Even if they have a new long-term relationship, they’ll feel exactly the same way when they discover you’re checking out the personals ads. There are two ways to get back into dating. The first, and best, is asking a friend to set you up. Dating agencies and websites take a bit of trial and error and can lead to undesirable results!
After a few misses, you might find quite a good match to meet with for a few dates. By now you might be ready to meet this person at your home, which means they’ll meet the kids too. It’s important you don’t hide the fact you have kids or make excuses for them. Be yourself. A future relationship depends on honesty so start on the right foot. Of course, you need to be ready for the kids to ask lots of questions at the end of the night too! Good luck.