So there are many reasons people decided they are done with children. We are done with two. We feel complete. We also cannot ignore the fact that my body couldn’t physically cope with another pregnancy. However, there are also some smaller, almost silly, reasons we are done with babies. We can see the light at the end of the baby tunnel and it is so bright and beautiful.
Pinky is three, nearly four, and Perky is nearly two. They are slowly becoming their own independent little ladies and despite the constant ‘Mummy Mummy Mummy’ things are calming down. These are my ‘lights at the end of the baby tunnel’:
- We are nearly done with nappies. Pinky is potty trained and I will start training Perky in the New Year. I have finally decided. She has been ready for a little while so I am not going to put it off for much longer.
- No more sterilising bottles. We haven’t done this for a long time as Perky dropped her milk at 9 months (trust me that little porker didn’t need it anymore). But my goodness I seriously hated sterilising the bottles!
- They can talk. Now this comes with a lot of negatives (have a mentioned the constant ‘Mummy’?) but it does mean they can tell me if they have pain, need a snack or are happy/unhappy. I no longer have to second-guess them and myself.
- They have personality. Pinky is a little diva but she is also extremely sensitive. Perky is a little comic and loves nothing more than making us all laugh. I don’t miss the eat, sleep, poop, repeat baby stage.
- Nap time isn’t the extreme necessity it used to be. Perky does still nap but if she misses it every now and again it doesn’t make much difference. This means days out can be whole days out. They aren’t mornings out not too far from home so I can get her back to sleep.
- Hubby and I can go out and not worry. They are old enough now for me to know they will be ok in the care of their relatives and I don’t feel the overwhelming need to phone and check every 5 minutes. There are only two of them so with the right car seats they fit in everyone’s car. On that note we don’t need to get a bigger car!
- Teething is nearly finished. I hate teething. I myself remember the pain of my wisdom teeth so I do understand why the girls get so grumpy. Pinky has all of hers now, not that I ever kept track. I knew when she was teething for the most part but her last ones didn’t break through until about a year ago. That means for the past three years one or both of the girls have been having teething pain. Perky has 5 left to break through! Only 5 more teeth and we are done.
- I no longer have baby hormones in my body. Other than the monthly PMS rollercoaster I am much more level headed. I hate to admit it but I am easier to live with, I don’t react well to hormones.
- We can all eat together. I only have to cook once in the evening now the girls can hold off until Hubby finishes work. Before I was cooking for them, then us. Nightmare!
- No more weaning! I hated weaning… Simple as that.
- No more health visitors. I’m sure they mean well and I know we will still have the 2 year check to get through with Perky but I actually can’t remember when I last saw one (probably at her 1 year check).
- My body is mine again. It isn’t in the nice pert, trim condition it was before children. It definitely looks like a former war zone and I don’t have the courage to look ‘down there’ even two years down the line, but my body isn’t going to be invaded occupied by another little human. I am claiming it back. One day I may come to terms with the fact that my dignity has long set sail without me.
So there are some of the more silly and non-important reasons we are done with growing our little family. No we don’t feel the need to ‘try for a boy’, yes we are happy with saying ‘Never again’. It is time for us to call it a day on the baby years, so we have.
I admire those who go on to have more and more children. I do understand why you would. Kids are amazing and as much as they drive parents crazy they make existing so much more worthwhile and fun. Our girls have completed and fused our family; we have what we need and what we can cope with. We have enough love for 20 children (perhaps more) but that doesn’t mean I am not done.
As they say…. Quit while you are ahead.