The Light at the End of the Baby Tunnel

So there are many reasons people decided they are done with children. We are done with two. We feel complete. We also cannot ignore the fact that my body couldn’t physically cope with another pregnancy. However, there are also some smaller, almost silly, reasons we are done with babies. We can see the light at the end of the baby tunnel and it is so bright and beautiful.

Pinky is three, nearly four, and Perky is nearly two.   They are slowly becoming their own independent little ladies and despite the constant ‘Mummy Mummy Mummy’ things are calming down. These are my ‘lights at the end of the baby tunnel’:

  • We are nearly done with nappies. Pinky is potty trained and I will start training Perky in the New Year. I have finally decided. She has been ready for a little while so I am not going to put it off for much longer.
  • No more sterilising bottles. We haven’t done this for a long time as Perky dropped her milk at 9 months (trust me that little porker didn’t need it anymore). But my goodness I seriously hated sterilising the bottles!
  • They can talk. Now this comes with a lot of negatives (have a mentioned the constant ‘Mummy’?) but it does mean they can tell me if they have pain, need a snack or are happy/unhappy. I no longer have to second-guess them and myself.
  • They have personality. Pinky is a little diva but she is also extremely sensitive. Perky is a little comic and loves nothing more than making us all laugh. I don’t miss the eat, sleep, poop, repeat baby stage.
  • Nap time isn’t the extreme necessity it used to be. Perky does still nap but if she misses it every now and again it doesn’t make much difference. This means days out can be whole days out. They aren’t mornings out not too far from home so I can get her back to sleep.
  • Hubby and I can go out and not worry. They are old enough now for me to know they will be ok in the care of their relatives and I don’t feel the overwhelming need to phone and check every 5 minutes. There are only two of them so with the right car seats they fit in everyone’s car. On that note we don’t need to get a bigger car!
  • Teething is nearly finished. I hate teething. I myself remember the pain of my wisdom teeth so I do understand why the girls get so grumpy. Pinky has all of hers now, not that I ever kept track. I knew when she was teething for the most part but her last ones didn’t break through until about a year ago. That means for the past three years one or both of the girls have been having teething pain. Perky has 5 left to break through! Only 5 more teeth and we are done.
  • I no longer have baby hormones in my body. Other than the monthly PMS rollercoaster I am much more level headed. I hate to admit it but I am easier to live with, I don’t react well to hormones.
  • We can all eat together. I only have to cook once in the evening now the girls can hold off until Hubby finishes work. Before I was cooking for them, then us. Nightmare!
  • No more weaning! I hated weaning… Simple as that.
  • No more health visitors. I’m sure they mean well and I know we will still have the 2 year check to get through with Perky but I actually can’t remember when I last saw one (probably at her 1 year check).
  • My body is mine again. It isn’t in the nice pert, trim condition it was before children. It definitely looks like a former war zone and I don’t have the courage to look ‘down there’ even two years down the line, but my body isn’t going to be invaded occupied by another little human. I am claiming it back.   One day I may come to terms with the fact that my dignity has long set sail without me.

So there are some of the more silly and non-important reasons we are done with growing our little family. No we don’t feel the need to ‘try for a boy’, yes we are happy with saying ‘Never again’. It is time for us to call it a day on the baby years, so we have.

I admire those who go on to have more and more children. I do understand why you would. Kids are amazing and as much as they drive parents crazy they make existing so much more worthwhile and fun. Our girls have completed and fused our family; we have what we need and what we can cope with. We have enough love for 20 children (perhaps more) but that doesn’t mean I am not done.

As they say…. Quit while you are ahead.

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  1. Oh I don’t think these are non-important at all or silly for that matter. It is so tough going through some of the things you mentioned that I can understand how you must feel seeing them in your rear view mirror now. This is a good list. I have some of my own and others that I will add as the kids get older. Enjoy the next phase. Hugs

  2. This is a lovely post! I am in complete agreement with everything you have said here. I’m personally not done yet with 1 (not sure my husband quite agrees yet!) but if we do have another that would certainly be the last. I think it’s great to embrace to moment and enjoy the baby days when you’re in them. But they are tough and they are not typical of normal life, so it’s lovely that you are now able to move on and enjoy where you are now! #fortheloveofBLOG

  3. I changed nappies for about 11 years straight after having four children and when I felt reeaaally broody last year (my youngest was 10) I just remembered that time and snapped out of it.

  4. I am nearing the end of a decade of pacis and diapers. Still have not slept through the night in ten years and there is really no end in sight. Sleep twins…..just sleeeeeeeeep.

  5. You are so right! Quit while you are ahead. Mine are 6 and almost 9 and it’s been a solid decade of sleep deprivation. No savings plan for that! Oy vey! Bravo on your decision from #BigPinkLink and #GlobalBlogging

  6. I’m so with you on stopping at 2. Everything you’ve just described that you’ve now managed to get past, is everything I’m going through now with my two little ones. It’s exhausting! I know there’s a small age gap between your two and there’s 18 months between mine, so you’ve given me some much needed hope that things will calm down in another 18 months or so. I certainly hope so. I’ve got double nappies to content with (will try to potty train G in the new year, so we can share stories then!), I’m still pretty much feeding them BOTH, still both up in the night. The list is endless. I like to think of it as pulling off a plaster – it hurts at the moment, but the hard days will be over and done with pretty quickly. #GlobalBlogging

    1. I hope the hard days are over soon! Things are definitely not as hard as they were last year. The small age gap is hard now but I think you will reap the rewards later on… At least that is what I am hoping…

  7. Love this list, we’re done at two too. We constantly get asked ‘are you going to try for a boy?’, ‘whens baby number three?’ and people are always shocked and surprised when I say we’re finished with the having babies stage in our life. I have to admit I’m pretty excited to say goodbye to a lot on your list too. Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink x

  8. I recently had my baby and looking at your list has got me excited for when he is a toddler, cannot wait to get over the night feeds and no sleep #GlobalBlogging

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed my list. The baby stage does pass very quickly so enjoy it as much as you can, but I won’t lie… I’m glad it’s done, toddlers have their own challenges.

  9. I needed to read this today! I have 2 little ones similar ages to yours, and I have been contemplating a third, then thinking “NO WAY!”. I don’t know if I could go back to step one again, I like sleeping now! lol! #SharingtheBlogLove

  10. Hehe most of the things on your list I am right in the midst of and really can’t wait to go through again. I hope I feel ‘done’ after two… I’ve gone from never wanting to have children to wanting four or more! Bit late in the day now I’m in my 30s.

    A great read, thanks for sharing!


    1. Definitely not too late if that is what you want. I never thought I would have kids either, now I have them I understand why people have more and more… I’m just all good with the two I made. Good luck going through it all again!

  11. Yes I’m with you on this. We have 2 lovely daughters and we’re done (…I think…). I love your point about having enough love for more, but just choosing to stop. That’s how I feel too – if we found out we were pregnant, we’d be over the moon, but, practically speaking, we can’t PLAN to have another one: bigger car, general finances, my mental health (I had a touch of Post Natal Depression after baby 2 and I’m terrified of having it again) all mean it would not make sense. And I’m fine with that. I feel complete. #SharingTheBlogLove

  12. I remember feeling like this! I was actually super excited each time. And each time we thought we were there, we found out we were pregnant again! hahahaha!!! Daisy is 2 tomorrow and I seriously thought, yay nappies almost done ect ect. Then we found out we were expecting #5. We calculated that we have been changing nappies for 5 years straight and can probably add another 2/3 years… One day, I keep telling myself I will sit and sip on a cocktail again! 🙂 #globalblogging

    1. Ah congratulations! This probably isn’t the best post for you at the moment 😉 one day you will be able to say good bye to the nappies and it will have all been so worth it! All the cocktails will be waiting for you. X

  13. Love this post, I can relate to it so much! We would like a sibling for Max, but after that we will definitely be done with the baby thing – I absolutely hate being pregnant and in all honesty I’m not a huge fan of the baby stage either. I much prefer the toddler stage and will be breathing a huge sigh of relief once we get there I’m sure! Thanks for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. I’m glad I’m not the only one! Sometimes I used to think to myself ‘why did you do this? You don’t like babies.’ I love them dearly of course (i’m sure it was just guilt fuelled) and they are worth every single nappy change.. I’m just pleased it’s nearly done. Watching the sibling bond grow makes it worth doing it all over again X

  14. Ah lovely post, it’s lovely to be able to reflect on the past two years with such positivity. You sound like you’ve come to a very firm decision. I’m glad that weaning is over, I hate weaning too. Good luck with the potty training. Thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

    1. Good luck when the baby arrives, of course it will be worth it. But I would be lying if I said I envied you 😉 I read your post about breastfeeding and work so I hope that works out for you a third time X

  15. Oh, I know what you mean! We are so happy and complete with our two girls. Everytime you reach a milestone, like ‘no nappies’, ‘no travel cot’ it makes life a little bit easier! Plus, my boobs were so engorged with our two when my milk came in (and it got worse with each of them) I fear they may explode with a third!!!! (TMI!) #KCACOLS

    1. Haha! I love a little TMI so you commented on the right blog! Despite the milestones I know my pelvis would explode if I did it again. I swear it still aches if I even look at a baby 😉

  16. In honesty, I am quite looking forward to the day were done with having anymore babies. Me and my parter have 4 children between us and we’re still not ready to say ‘its time to stop’ and in some ways, it makes me feel emotional knowing some day it will come to an end. Lovely post, thank you for sharing! #KCACOLS xx

    1. I think if you aren’t ready to say ‘enough’ then it would be the wrong thing to do. We know we are done and whilst there will be lots we will miss and there will be times I get emotional about it all I know we are done. It’s the right thing for us. Thank you for reading and your lovely comment X

  17. I have been nodding along to your post because I agree that things are just that bit easier now that the baby days are gone. I think it’s all the luggage you have to carry around everywhere! Thank you for sharing with the #DreamTeam x

    1. I actually went out with a handbag yesterday… an actual adult one! I had nothing in it except my purse, camera and phone. What did I put in there before?? It was lovely!

  18. Sterilising drives me crazy, and I only do it for dummies as piglet is breastfed! I also can’t wait to be done with health visitors, but alas that day is very far away for us #kcacols

  19. I cannot WAIT for my son to be four lol, it does sound much easier. Like you, I am not down with weaning or sterilizing bottles or hourly wakings (although this has just got easier thanks to a sleep trainer, praise the lord haha!). Thanks for giving me hope ; ) and sharing with #GlobalBlogging!

    1. Oh I have enjoyed reading about your sleep trainer. She sounds amazing! They should be issued at birth along with your discharge papers from the hospital. Things are definitely easier now but then I prefer the toddler stage to the baby stage so perhaps some people will think I’m crazy. X

  20. I’m with you on this one! Two was more than enough for me. Hubby would like another but I am done! Two c-sections has done me in. My youngest is almost 18 months and I will admit I’m hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. In around 1.5 years I think we’ll be at your stage and it will be bliss!!

    Thanks for linking up with #KCACOLS and hope to see you again soon x

    1. My youngest turns 2 in February and these last two months have made a massive difference. She can do so much more. I’m glad you could relate, it’s nice when others understand. X

  21. We have two children, and I read your list nodding along, yet I’m still not certain that we’re done. A big part of me feels like our family isn’t quite complete yet. Sounds like you’re sure though, which must be a lovely feeling. Knowing that your family is just the way it should be, just perfect! x #KCACOLS

    1. I am sure but I have a friend like you. She is contemplating a third and as awful as it sounds to me I believe if you aren’t done you aren’t done. I don’t think it matters how many children you need to feel complete as a family, two was our magic number. Thank you for reading X

  22. What a lovely post. We’ve quit at one and whilst we enjoyed the baby times, and they hold precious memories, I do love the way my child can engage with us now. Like you mention, it’s so wonderful to eat together and so nice to not have to go places and drag so much stuff! Most of all I love how my daughter can show me love back #sharingthebloglove

  23. I love this post. You have really nailed a lot of how I feel on the matter. It is hard sometimes, when at baby group surrounded by friends who are eager to go on to have 3 or even 4, I can often feel like I have to explain myself as though I’m being judged. I know I’m not and they aren’t, but it is strange sometimes, feeling like the world expects certain things from you and you need to justify your choices, even though it is no-one’s business but yours. Thanks for writing this! xx #sharingthebloglove

    1. I know what you mean, a lot of people seem to think we are joking when we say we are done. I wonder what they think our magic number should be! You have to do what is right for you, it’s as simple as that. Xx

  24. We always wanted 5-6 kids but after years of fertilising problems and multiple miscarriages we feel truly blessed to have two healthy children. I started to rupture during my last pregnancy so I have been told not to have any more and I am perfectly happy with that. Our youngest is two now and as much as I get broody around new babies I’m glad all those night feeds and horrendous nappies are firmly in the past.

    1. Wow! That is quite a journey through parenthood. I am very pleased I was able to make the decision myself (or with my husband). I do wonder if I would feel differently if the choice was taken away from me but I suspect not. There is so much to look forward to now. You are definitely blessed with two! Thank you for reading Xx

  25. My younger son has disabilities and we are still living the toddler years despite him being 10. It is hard work and I know that we can’t manage any more children. My heart dreams but my head is practical! #KCACOLS

  26. I’m really looking forward to this point in life when you can just enjoy their personalities with less of the back breaking stuff. Little Bear is really fun to be around, but he can get upset when no one knows why, need lots of carrying and nappy changing is now a nightmare as he won’t lie still anymore #sharingthebloglove

  27. Ah there is a lot here to look forward to, but also a lot that still scares me (potty training!) I agree totally about when they learn to talk, makes it all so much easier. And I can’t wait not to be ruled by naps!!! #SharingtheBlogLove

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