Time to ‘Wife’ a bit more

This month Hubby and I will have been married for five years. It’s not that long in the general scheme of planning to be together for the rest of our lives, but I can’t believe it’s already been five years. This year our anniversary lands on a Saturday. Bonus! This of course means we are going out. Out out parent style! Dinner and cocktails before heading home to relieve the baby sitters (brother and sister in law) and collapsing in a tired, makeup smeared heap. I can not wait! I may even buy a new dress for the occasion.

As Hubby has written we have done a lot in five years, and two of those huge things take up so much of our time and mental capacity. I wouldn’t change Pinky and Perky for the world but I have decided that since September is our month, I am going to concentrate on husband and wife stuff. I parent daily but I’m not sure I can honestly say I ‘wife’ daily.

I don’t think our marriage needs ‘spicing up’, we have a really good relationship, we really really work. We talk about everything, no subject is off limits. As cliché as it sounds we laugh daily. No one can make me laugh like Hubby. If one of us needs a quiet sulky evening we have it, if we need a cuddle the other simply knows. I want this to last. Forever.

Since becoming parents our stuff has taken a backseat. Of course it has, it has to. We don’t go out as often as we did because two more humans need feeding and clothing. Speaking of which our wardrobes could really do with updating. We had originally said that we would try and have a date night once a month after Pinky was born and I was comfortable leaving her for a couple of hours. This hasn’t happened, life got in the way. That’s not to say we don’t ever have date nights because we do. However, what has generally happened in the past is we don’t go out for a few months at a time, so when we do, we go out out. All out out. We organise a sleepover at the grandparents for the girls and we go up to London for the night. ‘The Big Smoke’ isn’t far on a train (just ridiculously expensive) but we don’t go up as often as we would like as we love the city. To make the most of it we will head up in the day and do a spot of retail therapy. Solely my therapy I suspect but bless Hubby he tags along with minimal complaint, mostly just unsubtly asking if there is anywhere to get a drink in the department store in which find ourselves. Then it’s dinner and a hotel stay before heading back home on the Sunday morning. This is expensive. I love this date and would do it more regularly if we could but until our lottery numbers come in it will have to be a very occasional treat. Having said that just because we are parents doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a little luxury ourselves every now and again. Many people enjoy a little spa weekend and there are many good offers out there to take advantage of. I love a good back massage but to be honest a spa weekend really isn’t our style. We would be bored by lunch.

So this month I’m going to concentrate on marriage stuff. I am going to think about Date night ideas, ways of lowering my own expectations and accepting there are other ways of having a date that doesn’t necessarily involve leaving the house or needing to organise baby sitters. It doesn’t need to involve an over priced, white table cloth adorned restaurant that serves lobster (not actually something we have ever ordered but it’s nice to know we could). I want to concentrate on the smaller things and appreciate them.

I am also in the market for a suitable anniversary present, wood for the fifth year. All ideas on a postcard please.

This Mum's Life
Cuddle Fairy


  1. I love this and love the idea of focusing on being a wife – we focus on being mum all the time and focus on being so tired but I love this sentiment – my husband will be please I read this article! #BigPinkLink

  2. I always forget how to wife, with four children my husband and I definitely have very little time for eachother. We do try to make the effort, especially with anniversaries but life too often gets in the way. We stick with traditional wedding anniversary gifts, this year was easy with fruit and flowers but next year will be our fifth too! For wood I was thinking some kind of personalised wooden picture frame type thing? #bigpinklink

  3. I wish my partner would ‘husband’ more – haha… I feel I try. We had the opportunity to go out recently, but I’ve ended up taking a friend. It’s a little frustrating. I might show him this 😀 Thanks for linking up to #KCACOLS Hope you’ll be back next week.

    Nadia – ScandiMummy x

  4. So true, I know I ‘parent’ daily but this has really made me stop and think about whether I’m doing well at ‘wife’ duties at the moment. We haven’t had a date night in a long while- nearest family being over an hour away makes it a little difficult but I maybe I need to think outside of the box and come up with some date ideas we can do at home once the littles have gone to bed. I hope you have a wonderful 5th wedding anniversary and good luck with a gift! Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink x

  5. It truly is so easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of parenthood and allow our marriage to fall by the wayside. Date nights are definitely hard to come by, be we totally enjoy them when they do happen. Taking time out of the day to be conscious is really important. Consciously thanking my husband for doing a chore around the house. Consciously connecting with him physically. My husband’s love language is physical touch, so something as simple as a peck on the cheek throughout the day can really send him a message. Thanks so much for sharing!

    1. My husband is the same, I’m not a touchy feely person so I forget sometimes that just holding his hand whilst we walk makes a huge difference. I used to do this all the time, now my three year old usually holds my hand!

  6. This is very true. We really do forget that we have one more person to think of sometimes. We have only been out once since having our boys, I think it’s more about having enough money to go than anything else! #sharingthebloglove

  7. Sounds like a plan and bet you’re looking forward to it/the dates. We never go out on our own without going out to meet friends for a meal. In fact the OH doesn’t come out full stop even fr family days out or holidays. It’s something we need to do but the family side of things needs working on first. #sharingthebloglove

  8. This sounds like a fab idea! I completely understand what you mean. We’re also celebrating our anniversary this month (4 years for us) and we’ve had a date night. It was great! Did you get an anniversary present yet? Not sure what you could get that’s wood. #KCACOLS

  9. We hit 5 years this year too and managed to have a lovely meal out and hotel stay while my parents babysat, it was lovely! I have to admit that I do love the sound of your date nights – that’s right up my street! We are in the same process of trying to lower our (or ‘my’ really) expectations – a hotel stay isn’t in budget at the moment, so it’s just dinner and possibly cocktails for the forseeable future. I think we manage these kinds of occasions maybe once every 3 months, so I think I do need to make more of an effort to carve out that time for us. Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Ah lovely! I do love a hotel stay, I always feel so rested after which I think is why I long for those dates over anything else but it is important to relax my expectations. Poor Hubby would exhaust himself trying to keep up otherwise.

  10. It’s our 6th anniversary in a couple of months and I am already thinking about what we will do! It’s so hard to make sure you remember to be a couple as well as mum and dad. Without you being together there is no family. I need to remember this more often and make an effort in between the times we are lucky enough to get a babysitter Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

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