It really is no myth that when you become a parent you can’t just go out when ever you feel like it. Not everyone has babysitters at close hand. Some people don’t live close to family that can help out and sit with the children. Romance can diminish or change into something unrecognisable once children come along. However romance is romance and it is a vital part of a relationship.
The trick for getting romance right is to understand that everyone has a different idea of what romance is. With the knowledge of what the other person considers romantic you can totally rock the relationship. For example I don’t find perfume a very romantic gift. It is something I have always bought for myself and always saw my mum do the same. However my husband has been bought up knowing that perfume is a romantic gift to give. It took me a while to appreciate this but now when he does come home with a new bottle of perfume I neither needed or really wanted I know that it comes from a place of love and affection and therefore I love it.
The flip side of this is that he now knows I don’t find perfume very romantic. So now he is much more likely to buy me a bunch of flowers or family bag of giant white chocolate buttons. So my point is romance comes in many forms for many different people. But when you become parents it is important to make the effort to keep the romance alive if you want to rememeber why you chose to have children together in the first place.
I have written about date nights before where I highlight that you don’t have to go out to have a date night. Your time together is as special as you want it to be. I have always been a fan of eating out in pubs and restaurants, evening after evening watching the latest releases in the cinema with a huge box of popcorn and nights spent dancing and laughing until the small hours. But the reality these days is that a meal in a restaurant takes place before 5pm and with the constant need to supervise small people, I haven’t been to the cinema in at least a year and the last time I went I went with Ellie and not Hubby and the last time I danced into the small hours I had a two day hangover and had to endure been jumped on, prodded and poked.
Creating a Romantic Valentines Evening for Parents
Depending on how much of a party animal you once were this can be a tough pill to swallow but realistically staying in is the new going out. It doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom though. There are plenty of ways you can make a Valentines Day Date special even if you do stay at home.
- Light candles. Lots of Candles.
- Dim the lights and turn the TV off. Instead play some music (think more Buble/Sheeran here, not the latest garage dubstep.)
- Buy special food, your favourite dinner, something you wouldn’t usually have such as a good steak.
- Get dressed up as if you are going out. Do your hair and make up. This goes for men too. Your comfy joggers are not good enough for date night.
- Bring home chocolates or flowers or even a copy of their favourite magazine they never buy themselves.
- After dinner run your partner a bubble bath with some candles and pour a glass of bubbly…. Or preferred tipple.
- Sit together.
- Hold hands.
- Talk to each other and take the time to genuinely listen.
- The kids will wake up… It’s what they do best. But instead of getting frustrated just deal with it and then carry on as if nothing happened.
- Don’t be afraid to move Valentines day. If it falls on a Wednesday but you have back to back meetings that day and the school run needs to be done first thing the next day, then move Valentines day to a more convenient evening.
Romance Needs Work
Romance takes work from both partners. But if you can put in the effort the rewards will speak for themselves… And no I don’t mean that! Love doesn’t last without effort or without the will to be loved. Romantic gestures don’t need to be hugely extravagant or expensive and often the most romanic gestures are the smallest tokens of consideration for the happiness of another person.